It feels like I’ve spent 2 months in SImferopol in the 5 or 6 months I have been travelling Ukraine looking for a lady.  People all wonder if it is a ruse or a scam: some of it is, but there are real ladies who are interested to meet guys: you just  have to pick the right lady, hit the right formula.

I guess I thought I could move towards an introduction with this one 27 year old divorced lady, I thought she was a good person to try to get to know, a more normal age difference: her profile looked nice. The mistake I made is that it takes too long for the papers to clear that say you aren’t a convicted felon, wife beater or some druggy type or had restraining orders. I wouldn’t be bothering with trying to find a great woman here if I had those kind of black marks on my record. I have a clean bill of health, but unless people know you for a while, they just take it for granted that you are probably either a failure or have some kind of problem: it is very bad form to be a foreign man unattached here. It just means that you can’t plan and manage, make arrangements.

SO I am not just going to hang around here, burn time off my clock waiting for this lady or her representative to call my phone. if things evolve through phone contact, maybe I can get back here. Probably 75% chance she’s with her regular guy doing the holiday thing, and I was a fool to think otherwise. But I did meet an insider at the disco last night, a guy named Konstantin. He has a beautiful wife from Osh Russia or something. He looks like he knows everybody. But he is flying to Istanbul today to go to his wife’s people: he won’t be of any use for me now.

Now I am waiting for a call from Odessa: I may go, but even that feels complicated now. I’d want to have 3 weeks in Odessa to make anything serious start to happen, and I only have about ten days. the trains don’t work well for me either from here. I have a feeling I will be waiting around a lot.

But, I gotta carry on as best I can, try to keep it safe for now

Eventually the gal did write me back, here is what she wrote:
Hello dearest Lucien, I am very much confused with your letter. I don’t know what you mean saying you came here just to see me, seems it is VERY far from reality. We have never planed or arranged any kind of meeting. Moreover I have never gave you any hopes. Right now I am on the stage of starting very serious relations with a man and I am going to Kiev on 13th Jan. So I don’t understand your persistence. Sorry but seems it is some kind of misunderstanding. I am very sorry you came here and just wasting time. I can recomend you a dating agency here in Simferopol, may be they can help you.
you seem to be a very good honest person I would like to support you and help you
Regardds
Elena
this was her previous letter:
Hello Lucien it is amazing to receive such a letter-storry! It is very pleasant to hear from you again and to see the evidences of you are really reliable honest man! Such behavior and such brave steps are really worth of respect. You are leting me to know you, not insisting on anything it is very rare here! I get very many silly letters from a men saying me right in the first messages the love ma and some other ridiculous things! I like you are not rushing!!! It proves me you are serious! And I wonder why you are not asking me any questions? Are you not interested?
Hope you have enjoyed this weekend celebrating Christmas. Yes I also celebrated it ) I am celebrating it two times)))) I adore Christmas and winter holidays It is wonderful magic time, when I feel myself again like a little girl. Believe in miracles. I adore that atmosphere of holiday, love all the decorations, all about that magic in the air))) I can go on for ages))) What is Christmas for you? Promise that next year you won’t be celebrating it alone!!!!!!!!!!
I hug you warmly and send you a long, soft kiss back,
Lena

Reblogged from 9julian's Blog:

this post goes out with no comment, other than it’s such a great song:) True feelings worthy to share: Genesis, by Jorma kaukonen~ Time has come for us to pause And think of living as it was Into the future we must cross, must cross I’d like to go with you And I’d like to go with you You say I’m harder than a wall A marble shaft about to fall I love you dearer than them all, them all So let me stay with you So let me stay with you And as we walked into the day Skies of blue had turned to grey I might have …

Every moment takes and gives a little, Tak, it is a strange word, not a word, an expression, like hmmm, except more assertive: this place makes a killer (or beyond decent/ serious ) cup of coffee, it is close to the heart, you feel like you are in a strange new world…

I was playing some classical harp and Renaissance guitar on the laptop with the visualizer,  We both enjoyed it,  winter  bird life reminding me of bird life on our bays, all sliding  by:  Melitopol is low, marshy bordering the sea. I can’t even figure what it is set there for, fishing I guess. I swapped over some music on a flash drive for her to give her to remember me just before we got there. She said “you are a very nice man” and she could not believe my age. She invited me to come see her some time. But like it is real or fiction, I had to go see how my lady was doing, to see if she was changing her feelings or that my missing New Year’s with her was simply the END OF THE LINE_ But let’s see about my girl, she has lied to me, cheated on me I suspect, taken cash with promises of intimacy, passion not delivered, she has insulted me, pushed my ego into the mud,and maybe I have not been that nice to her either! These are the kind of women you want to marry, right?

SO, I got into Dnipro after nearly thinking I’d spend the night in Zaprozhia. Of course hauling my mega suitcase out of the train station, I went through the smattering of solicitations for Taxi rides, keeping with normal strategy I got all the way out past the Taxi car area, spotted a modest dark blue Lada Taxi pulled onto the sidewalk, asked him about a ride to the bus stop: he wanted 30, but I insisted on 20: it is under 2 minutes to get there. He told me I would not get out on the bus to Nikopol that night, but I said I wanted to get to the Bus (aftobagzahl) station anyway to see what was rolling where. And as we got up to the bus ramp, I got out, there was a couple, a tall young man well built and a young pretty dark haired lady: turned out they wanted to get to Nikopol. I was ready to just stow my suitcase at the train station and just hang out at COffee Life for the night, try to hook up with some friends. But they seemed very motivated to get to Nikopol. After a few minutes of back and forth where a price of 500UAH was agreed on more or less, they agreed to split the fare 300UAH for them and 200 UAH for me (a friend told me that’s a good price for a 120 Kilometer taxi ride))

And so this driver stoically did this long 2 plus hour ride in the little Lada.He hit some wicked potholes, and even seemed a bit unsure of his route in the dark: I was not sure of exactly where we were: it was quite a bit slower than the bus takes it, that’s for sure! THe guy with the lady he called his wife was from Kharkiv. THey explained that they had come by train that day, that they had to get to Nikopol that night, and go back tomorrow. Why they needed to go this far way and go back? what was the point of their travels, I did not ask or want to know. At some point where I thought the taxi driver was taking us to the bus stop in Nikopol from where I knew how to get to my Hotel, the taxi just pulled off outside some roadside place, kind of remote. There was a car with 2 men waiting. It was a nice mid size to small car, newer, the men were curious about me. The Husband of the couple assured them I was “normal” and so I got in the car with them. While they seemed like honest men of substance,  They could have been police, mafia, union representatives…. , some kind of business man??, I did not ask/ the English skills in the car were super basic!, they explained to the couple about my destination, ELite CLub, how it had bowling, billiards,disco, etc. And i thought about how far I had come in my experiences with this place. in my first or second visit here I would have been very nervous to get in the car with strangers in the dead of night in the outskirts of an working class, small town. But it was all very straight forward, even though I did not recognize the route to the hotel, they got me there, and they did not even ask for money or anything: very nice of them to do it, go out of their way. SInce I got in at midnight, I tried the next day to negotiate a 24 hour rate with the ELite CLub, but they would not have it, it was like pulling teeth at the reception desk with the translator on the laptop, using GOogle translate. After about 45 minutes f this they gave me until 14:00 to re-up the room rent or go, and I settled for that, stayed there 1.5 days plus the extra 2 hours: I mean it’s off season and they have an empty hotel. I was trying to explain how I would stay longer and they would make more money by working with me on the terms of occupancy, but they did not get it!

WOw, last night made a stab at Kharkiv from DNipro with the intent to make SUmy. Allmost missed my train, having to rush the train about 1 minute before the roll time as I got confused about what track, what train. Kharkiv is a massive station, as big as Kiev I might guess. I was snapping pics of the square with the holiday lights, trying to decide if I would intentionally miss my train. A buddy of mine in Ukraine is a Nigerian born striker for a football club in Donetsk, he has a brother who was going to meet me, show me around, but when I talked to the brother, it sounded like he had his buzz going on,,,, I decided to go all the way to SUMY : of course I posted on my social page that Kharkiv Station at CHristmas Eve was not the place for an impromtu flute concert “Blues for Yu and ROck for Ya” (or Blues for Yulia TYmoshenko and Rock Music for Yanukovych:) of course, if I could really do Jethro TUll, maybe they’d have  let me get away with it for a few minutes….

2 minutes before roll time, a group of burly soldiers, maybe 7 of them were yelling at me that I was at the wrong train ( Moskva) at the 6th track? My train was on the 13th track, and it was only the Tatar  lady from my train from Dnipro who speaks ENglish ( I gave three American QUarters to her  5 year old daughter) that helped me hop on the correct  train just before the attendants got up to their perches: I was stuck with having to transit like 30 cars back to make my car for SUMY, saw the whole set of passengers, crew, even the gang of Hari Krishna guys ( gave them 10 UAH, just to extend my respect, weird how these groups survive in a place like UA) and of course, one of those cars had a convocation of hot  women: my car was another 6 cars back, LOL!

I had to go to familiar ground just to escape intense semi-romantic entanglements that have yielded no benefits.. SUMY was an easy choice. I went to a club last night dominated by Lebanese men, a good set of locals, African students, cheap drinks, low door price. But that wasn’t going anywhere, despite that I met a lady named Sveata that I really liked: she had the radar for foreign men on full, nothing there.

SO what did I do CHristmas day in Ukraine? for one, as I got in at 4:40 AM. I tried to sleep, at least till 8:30/9. By ten:50 I was getting dressed, ready my derriere for coffee. Went to AOM COfe, my super coffee lady Anastasia Solopokina was there, a big Barrista CHamp, nice to know her by name, not have to look on the awards plastered on the walls. Did my coffee, studied my Russian book, walked over to the SUMY agency. A couple of mousy looking girls were there, they asked what was up, who was I here for. I just said, “look I am here, Maria knows I am coming” there’s about 7 ladies in this town I could get seriously interested in… But they could not even connect me with the manager Kristina, I was thinking for sure I was a man alone here :True, I was/ am. I went to the SUMY Church, to check it out, bought a set of 3 candles, donated the change. One candle I lit for family (including friends) another I lit for being able to keep doing business with friends, another I just lit for my daughter, I had said my prayers there, so done!

around 4:20 I got my running gear together, and went for a good 40 minute run, doing hard sprints at interval, basically just winding myself. I am never going to train for a marathon like this! People were really impressed with my sprints, I could hear them speculate that I was a football player or something like a criminal,

I Went back to the hotel and had a super long chat with my girl ( that I split up with for the third time this month) , I still feel super bad things went wrong. But I can just live with it: she and I are still friends. It’s just that she wants to put across this thing about her back that it is damaged, she’s set it into my lap in a way that I can not verify, now I trust her a fair amount, but it’s just too much for me to handle. I have  helped her a lot and she has given me nothing, actually a painted wooden spoon, maybe 50 Cent! She says she needs cash for a scan on her back, yet she works as a nurse, she is basically telling me what I suspected: that Health Care is being stolen in Ukraine, just like it has been stolen in the USA, or just stolen moment by moment: in the USA it gets stolen in 100 million $ chunks! In Ukraine it gets stolen in 20 million visits,  a small crease of cash at a time! I am just caught in the middle of what could be an outright scam, or just a normal need of a girl from a modest family to get treatment for a difficult condition: there’s just too many yellow flags around my girl, as much as she fits my ideal so well. And I’d have to kill myself if she is really working me: it’s just too much “I can’t get no girly action ” with her. She is too busy with her 10$ a day job to make any time for me, just 1 more deal where I need to wait 23 hours for 1 hour with her.. But I have made inroads with her sister ) it’s a real hard fence to know what side to be on. SUbsequently, I have come to feel that she is being honest enough, that she does have  problem, yet I have no hard evidence, it could still be just a ruse. But the truth of the matter is that if she really wanted to manipulate me, she’d have slept with me when she had the chance, or maybe that was the plan I escaped from?

I think I am a fool: the money they needed was not that much compared to what I have given her and I had time on the clock to make it real. Now it’s just accusations, movement towards closure:(): or maybe an opening?

But, i did some things on the computer, made a day trip looky loo, getting some black bread, cheese that looks like havarti but tastes like Swiss, Kefir,,,, held off on the fruit: didn’t see any in the market that caught my eye.

I ate my cheese and bread, Kefir, mixing my protein powder and the MACA flour into it (MACA being the Peruvian potatoe with adaptogenic properties). I had to take a nap in the early evening.

then went to this club just down from the Hotel Ukraine in SUMY, cool place. Not big, but bustling, high end feeling. OMG, of course there were so many hot, interesting ladies at the club. The said it was a closed event, but since I was just 1 person they let me in, with the sub-10$ admission: great floor show, great dancers and antics, generally G- rated, LOL !

After settling in, a couple tequila sunrises that were generous, but about 5$ each, I started to get my move on the floor. As I did, after some time, this smoking hot blond, maybe the most hot blond ever in my entire life, she was making eye contact, then mouthing “I like you” she and I danced at some modest distance for hours. i went back to my hotel to change my shirt, to my Steve Earle “I will never get out of this World ALIVE “  T. My semi-dress shirt I had on at the start of the night, just was not standing out.

I went back and this blond is still going, we are just cooking with each other, liking every minute.She just kepy going with the flirting:)))

After this endless session of dancing, she went back to her table. I used my basic Russian to ask her if she wanted something to drink also, she said “JUICE” so to the bar I went, got my third Sunrise, the juice. left it for her.

Small mistake, I left my SUnrise on her table, some guy she was with asked me to take it off his table, and I also got that this tough guy had a stake on this super hot blond. Mafia or not, I got the message, and after this, he made it clear that she was his, but still, I got to live the fantasy. Clearly she likes me!

that’s it, tired, feels like you burn 10,000 calories on a Ukraine disco and smoke 3 cigarettes even when you try to stay away from it, plus the artificial smoke. It stinks into your clothes, burns your eyes, but who cares, coz you are having the time of your life! And of course there was that perfect slender black haired lady who went the night without a man on her elbow, I liked her a lot as well. that is the nature of Ukraine, the interesting and beautiful black haired lady, or the smoking hot, most super incredible, super model grade blond that you ever danced next to in your life. I stayed to the near bitter end. It is now 5:20 ~ sleep, it really was a Ukraine disco night to top all nights ( for me anyway, as I never had a woman so hot as that blond make eyes on me in my whole life!)

Today I just decided that the action in SUMY was not going to materialize, caught the 10:15 bus to Poltava. After sleeping at 4:50 and waking at 8:50, re-resting till 9:00, I went down to the hotel desk: they have a travel office there in house that makes train tickets, and they were open on a SUNDAY, but, no luck: trains locked down! No open seats. THey checked me the n=bus schedule: And, it looked like the plan to go overland by bus. In a car, Sumy to Poltava you could do in 3.5 hours. There was a big lady in the seat next to mine ( with her big winter coat), and the seats narrow. My side was pushed into the hard right side of the seat: uncomfortable. As the bus went on, at several stations and roadside locales,  it picked up passengers, lots of them. At one stop I saw an older, well dressed lady, nice hat, nice coat, blue eyes. As she got on the bus with the standing group, right away I knew I should be a gentleman and give her my seat, which I did. SHe was quick to accept. As she sat , I saw her hands clasped, knitted, brought together : she was twiddling her thumbs. I realized how much she made me think of my Dad’s Mom, same height, same thumb twiddle,Russian blue lighter than my Granny’s Irish eyes , but the mind behind looked not unlike this lady’s, same fashion dress style.

Never the less, I was looking at standing for a full 2 more hours, and the bus was just packing: THere was 1 guy got on who looked like the Ukraine version of Kris Kristoferson ! I didn’t have a good hand hold, had to reach up for the roof hatch handles, my arms even started to go numb a bit. I felt like I was on a big skateboard on a rough road, but I couldn’t do any widened  form of board stance. And if the bus crashed, I was going to fly through the front window or hit that old school LG TV mounted just at the front. I did not get to tell the lady she made me think of my long dead Granny, or get a picture other than in my mind. I just had a chance to tell her I was American… And man, there were a couple of dangerous looking guys on that bus! But who is to say, maybe you are very safe around such danger men! Nothing is as it seems here!

Arriving Poltava bus station, Some big man hussled me for the cab ride , and I went for the cheap room in the Cheap Hotel KNIB. After  a grudging settling in, short nap, I realized that I had not really eaten in 2 days. Shaved, walked out into cold drizzly Poltava night…. The TV in my room was dead, internet was dead even the shower looked not welcoming in the least:) . I went over to this Europa restaurant, to get some serious food. Fajitas, beer, then CHai . Lena and ALina joined me for wine and salads:) Lena is her usual self: the icon of the perfect Ukrainian lady in her own imperfect way!they dropped me off at COffein where I tuned up this posting: thusly,  it has come full circle, this visit to Ukraine, looping back to this earlier posting that follows, still with a lot of details left out.

it is funny how many times I have been to Poltava, it is like Lena is my cover girl friend. She knows I am not what she wants and I know she is not my dream: she is the story book character in my search. When I come here, i like to run to the Monastery, and I have come here enough times that even the German Shepherd dog that guards the nice house on the down slope to the creek before the up slope to the monastery, even the dog recognizes me as the lone runner! : he does not bark at me as he did the first 4 or 5 times I came her to hit this run… I’m not finding who I want, but it’s been an interesting adventure! Maybe tomorrow will be the last time ever in my life to make this run up the hill to the Monastery, so I should shower and get some rest!

The story leads with  something about ” Those three days”,  in itself a much longer story: all with good people: there are no bad people in my close circle.

Suffice it to say that there is enough  sketchy stuff in Ukraine, that I have tended to try to choose to meet with ladies who feel safe. Of course the safe ones have a higher standard. Lena is no exception!

At times I just can’t believe it how many times I have gone to UA without any serious luck. At least a few of them have offered it up in a way I felt could work, I have a set of parameters, and the easier ones tend to not fall into the parameter zone, but it’s also that they are in odd corners of the country, hard to reach, places feeling like a project just to get to.  Maybe I should just adjust the parameters, When you go through this reality shift a few times, you tend to want to go to the places you know. Safe ground. At times, I feel like you have to just throw so much cash at success that it gets to be not worth it. This was a lady I met who came into Dnipro just to see me on my first serious trip, she said she’d been a Police officer but that she gave up to start a store where she made better money.  She has a boy…I just don’t want that extra burden of a lady with a child. My own child is grown up ostensibly, and I see no reason short of falling heads over heels in love with a woman to take on a mom with a child. But I did want to take this fiery red head to bed… I guess it was that things bogged down on the terms of attraction. I still had my Lena to meet that time.

At least I feel that Lena respects me, my time: she tends to keep an eye on things for cost, and I don’t worry about cash being wasted when we go out. We are both flute players, and unfortunately I have yet to hear one of her orchestra concerts, But they have won the Ukraine National City Orchestra competition a couple years recently. Her Dad is a well known person with books on the shelf in the stores on Psychology.

And she can be funny: I was trying to interest her in a 33 year old friend of mine: good guy, very smart, athletic, easy nature, a bit conservative. His parents have a big real estate company and sell tons of property for lots of money. SO I will call my friend Jake:

Lena said “SO what is it about your friend Jaeko ? I see he has a girlfriend on his social page”

I said, well he’s not engaged, they are seeing each other, I talked with him about you, at least that you could be friends, and told him about your qualities.”

And Lena was all like “Well I am not interested in Jaeko, I will marry his father!” and she laughs….. te-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha….!

And I said, ” no!  Lena, his Dad is terrible: he has a wood toilet seat on the throne, and makes even the boys pee sitting down, and what is even worse… when he gets to the bottom of the box of breakfast cereal, he will sometimes mix 2 different types of cereal to fill up his bowl!” There was a note of amused shock that went around the table..

SUMY was an option but I missed the train to Kharkiv.  I decided to bus myself to Poltava.  Called Lena and her agency to say I needed a place. It all went to plan, my 5 hour bus and a taxi got me to Poltava center just around 7 pm. After a quick hello, they got me off in another taxi to where I was staying: a building right across from the SBU building (Ukrainian Intelligence) WHy these folks got the cool architecture in Kiev and Poltava? Well, or course coz they’re smart !

So I dropped a line to a friend of mine ALex, who does some dating events: he wrote right back and said that he was going out that night with some people to CLub CHocolade ! I had heard of this place: it sounded great! I’ll just say he had the prime table on the floor, nice people all around: the place was just simmering…. And there’s something about Poltava) they have a big dental school there, and all the people’s teeth looked so perfect! And of course this is like a taste of the upper crust, an elite of Ukranian society was there, you could feel them in the crowd: just like Cuernavaca Mexico is about that much out of Mexico CIty:  it possibly functions as a wealth enclave, Poltava feels similar , growing steadily, things well managed, for the most part.

I guess that the next day I tried to go out using an agency, but they couldn’t line me up on short notice with any of the ladies they had that interested me. So, I took myself out on a date, went out into the cold and wet, finding a taxi, going to where I knew the action was. I got to this club early, thinking I’d meet Lena, but there was some confusion, she had not gotten my text message to confirm our 9:00 meeting. She messaged me back that she could come in 2 hours. SO I was hanging out at the club, drinking first CHai, then LEFFE beer, maybe I was on my second beer, club seemed pretty quiet still, nothing out of the ordinary, just filling up a few people and tables at a time.

I was almost to where I was making casual friendly eye contact with some people, the bar tenders knew I was an English speaking foreigner (I was trying to blend in). I shifted away from the bar, to a table aligned with the bar, at a standing table, my back to the wall. All of a sudden, I saw this big group of guys go past the bar, maybe 15 guys: they moved from the back to my right, out towards the entrance. Then there was some obvious commotion. It was a fight, or some action of ejection, discipline, a gambling dispute?? but it really sounded serious. I could hear flurries of punches landing, hard punches, and some guys were being pulled back from the entry, guys who were friends with the guy getting punished. And it was clear that if they insisted on intervening, that they would get some of the same. After five minutes of this, they took it outside, and I could tell it was still going on out there. In the midst of all this I started to worry, as this was the time I thought that Lena was coming to the club: I tried to get near the door to send off a text. No surprise, the cell tower was out or not working. Outside the fight was still going on, there was a lot of back and forth, like it was just not stopping. Police were arriving by then, but the struggle kept going even as they showed up. Over time I got myself out in the steady icy rain, to try to reach Lena, and there was blood all across the cement outside, there was a man against the wall, just holding his arms out, his face a bloody mess, a real bloody mess, the worst damage I have ever seen or imagined in reality. It was bad. Like that even in a professional boxing match : they stop the fighting long before it gets this bad. Police started taking statements, it was calming. The staff went and got big wads of cotton, and I guess they got him off to get some medical care.

Despite being very disquieting, I went back into the club, got another beer. I kept an anxious eye on the door for my friend, but she never showed up. THe club did fill up with a good crowd of typically amazing women! I made friends with a guy Yuri, who seemed to know a lot of people there, a man with a big smile, tall. It turns out he is a dentist my friends told me later. nice man, got his phone number in my cell. he kind of introduced me to a couple lady friends of his, but I didn’t get their numbers, not that night: it takes time, particularly if you don’t have a translator, you are not going to get very far.

I did see Lena the following night, which is where the photo of us with her in the Blue scarf was taken. You know I have heard things, derisive perhaps, about women that will only go so far, but Lena has floated the offer for us to go to the Carapathians to ski and so forth…, at least in the past! Of course, she is going to want her own room (maybe) SHe is a really fine woman now. Whatever man that gets her heart and mind aligned in love will have himself a world class woman! One more thing about her, one time I told her that the children of psychologists were often the most messed up in their head : she enjoyed my joke:) SHe is very bright, yet skilled with the facade of the slightly vain, empty minded model. I used to think she was materialistic, but now, I feel more that she is like anyone else who appreciates fine things.

Given that things were going no place past the chance to spoil Lena with gifts, or date some other ladies in her agency that don’t capture my attention, I felt my 3 or 4 days in Poltava were enough. I wanted to get to Cherkassy, where I thought that I had some Ladies wanting to see me. I was waiting for a call from a lady who had approved y intimate request there, but the call was not coming through. Later after I had left Ukraine, I got a message that this gal was just confused about my actually being in Ukraine!  I had sent her my Kiev based phone number, it was a toll free call for her. I still do not get why it is so hard for them to understand super basic English! But anyway, about mid day on the 21st of December I got my butt over to the bus station in Poltava. Asked for a ticket to CHerkassy, at first the lady at the bus maybe frowned or checked some stuff, but then she said she had a ticket for me. She gave me the ticket, but then she took the unusual step of going down to the platform and talking to the driver: She seemed like a nice older lady with gold caps on her teeth. SHe had something to explain to him about me, and since he knew no ENglish, I was not sure what it was about!

Nonetheless, I have done the bus ride into Kiev from Poltava, and I thought that they’d get me to a bus stop outside of Kiev. But this was the big bus, not a matrushka fast bus. And it had something like Kahrkiv/Kiev on the front. After some time it seemed after the bus got going that it was not on the main road, it was going into towns and villages. And at some point it was really going into places where there were no lights, and there were places with big potholes, big rocks in the road that when the bus hit them made booms in the wheels and frame. And there were not many people in the bus, maybe 6 or 8. THe bus made turns like onto dirt roads, and it seemed like you could walk as fast as it was going. There were villages, but they did not have lights. Eventually we got to a bus stop in a smaller town, where I could get a cell signal, called my translator, because I was 6 hours into this bus ride! The translator talked to the bus driver, and then he was saying I was in Chernobyll!

Somewhere on that long dark ride with the solid bus driver and the handful of slightly mysterios0 passengers, cause I was tired, falling asleep, I thought I saw a ghost! It was like the face of a man in silhouette, and pale, lit by silvery light (this was before I knew I had been in Chernobyll) I never claim to have seen a ghost in my life before, but it was very distinct.

After some time, the driver talked to a young guy  on our bus who had got on. He instructed the guy that I was going to CHerkassy : he let us off at a split in the highway, we had to cross the dark and pretty busy road to the other side, wait in the open by a police check point for a Matrushka, which took us another long hour into Cherkassy. Some where in there I had a alk with my girl, she was asking me to come back to her, that “all would be well” (of course, it ended up being not that way eventually, there was no real transition to serious relations)

But since the girl in CHerkassy had not called me and I was not sure how to find the group there, I kept going back to Dnipro, via Shevchenko. Cherkassy is like on a spur of the rails system in Ukraine. But anyway the young guy took care of me, getting me on the right bus to the train station after getting off the fast, long distance matrushka. And another young guy at the train station helped to explain how I needed to take the feeder train to Shevchenko to catch the Dnipro train, eventually I was able to get some sleep on the crossing to Dniepropetrovsk.

I have told a number of friends that some effect transpired going through Chernobyll on that darkest, longest night, my trip not having been going the way I had planned- ( I had hoped that my girl would travel with me, that we could go to Lviv, or maybe Odessa, possibly hang out in Kiev. Instead, I was just on these endless long bus and train routes, actually I had made a huge arc from Poltava, to Chernobyll, Cherkassy, Shevchenko then Dnipro in one passage.)Pardon the bad paragraph structure, but my heart felt different, lighter, very much lighter. It has really stayed light ever since then, despite some bouts of sadness here and there. My life has many challenges, difficult to resolve situations, it is still a good life, interesting.

But I want to find the right woman, move forward with my life, otherwise I will just have to join some kind of Monastic order, and that could be dangerous….

************

Here is actual real time photographic proof of the initial testing of the Russian version of the stealth skateboard, taken 2 days ago in Yalta, and it will be on the store shelves in time for the Russian Christmas: it is the most carefully guarded product release in the history of personal recreation, and the lawyers are still working away on the product disclaimers, such as “ARE you aware that other people can not see you at all? that you are simply a fleeting shadow?”

Super quiet hybrid cars and hipsters with earbuds on stealth skateboards will be…meeting?

What’s the best way to go about describing some thing personal, yet interesting enough to share? For one, all references to Russian dating aside ) it was just an excursion, a near non-event!

How did I end up alone by myself sipping tea in a cozy, but pretty empty” Knights Templar “ themed restaurant in Yalta this pre- New Year’s holiday time ИСЕЩЗТЯ ? Not to digress, but one of the most useful evenings I ever  spent was a learning ANNEX course on building charisma. Out of that was some key advice, perhaps as old as that ring of ancient rusty looking keys they’ve adroitly hung up high above the door.
1. Pay 5 sincere compliments every day: it makes that person feel good and then spreads to those people around you when it is said.
2. Pay off your credit cards and keep a few thousand dollars in the bank in savings (well, few of us really are even on debt, but that’s relative, more on how you handle it)
3.Change your look once in a while, new haircut, new watch, new shoes ( I have done that, even got a Ukranian manicure job last week, an extreme rarity for me)
4. Buy a new mattress : we spend a good part of our lives in bed : we want to be happy when we sleep. If you are in transit, find a place where you sleep well, be near people that you like.

And last, pertaining to why I was in Yalta:# 5  take your self out on a date once in a while!: And of course, go out on a date with a freind from the past !

Well for starts, I was just going to amble on over to Sevastopol for some quick sight seeing, a looky loo in the dead of winter : actually it was gorgeous today! I did not finish my eggs, double cappuchino with an espresso chaser until about 11:00. Then, I had to check and put some things out  on the computer, shower, Take some calls, send some tests, get to the bus to the Train Station/ Bus Depot. Simferopol shows itself as a super busy city: people are selling things standing on the sidewalk, like inexpensive  Chinese made kitchen knife sets.
I guess the alone part is easy: Ukrainians don’t take to strangers  with much relish. These dating consortiums don’t tend to like people like me. Their profiles are sending out dozens of letters, and I am only with a few in serious conversation. You’d need a full time secretary to keep a good pace of dialogue leading to the best kind of introduction with ten or 20 ladies. And then there’s the obligatory gifts. Baseball caps don’t get you very far. SO it’s not going to get me very far if I ignored like 20 letters without an answer, and then just show up in town and say “hey- i am actually here, come get coffee with me”
But on the other hand if these ladies are going to talk the talk, they need to walk the walk: I am the one who ended up here alone, half of the way around the world…. You either want to get to know me or not, simple as that.
SO I was at this busy bus station in Simferopol :One of the drivers was hustling me for a triple fee on the ride to Sevastopol, so I heard another guy hawking a fast bus to Yalta for 1/3 (normal winter price)t (distances are the same, more or less) Went for the Yalta bus. About 4$ to Yalta from Simferopol. It is higher in summer, expect 60 UAH or more to Yalta

Bus ride memories: I looked through this LINGO translator, learning some Russian words, watched a winter landscape go by that I had seen in the fall 3 years ago. A blond girl sat next to me, she looked tired from train travel. She started to go to sleep, as she did, her boyfriend was in the seat behind her, a tall dark haired, guy He reached over her seat back to cradle her head so that her neck wouldn’t  get trashed, it was quite a touching. although the road is pretty smooth for Ukraine, it still rocks and rolls a bit on a fast bus. Before the fairly high altitude pass and around it was a foggy condition, good setting for a mystery film. It took about an hour and forty minutes, his girl got some needed rest: he never let go the entire time. Very sweet:)
The Yalta bus station is sort of in a box canyon: a little confusing as to where to go towards the harbor: it is simply down the road, going downhill, follows the channel of the river or creek.
I got on a creaky old bus, good solid ride, interesting faces to watch, got off at what looked like a sidewalk farmer’s market. The first thing I saw was the lady selling pickles and sauerkraut. She wanted to sell me a kilo of pickles, I settled for a half kilo at 10 UAH, they were really good, hand made pickles with local herbs.
Went a little further down and saw a nice fruit stand. I bought some Pink lady apples, about 6 of them for another 10 UAH. Normally I will just buy one or 2, but the apples looked like good and fresh local product: I was right about that!!!!.  I also bought a 5 UAH  large size handful of local raisins: after a couple of the pickles, it was an interesting snack. Really good raisins! Eating raisins and strolling, I bumped into the guy who is selling Vedic Literature, we talked briefly, wished each other luck. The town and all easy enough to walk from the farmer’s market: traffic was slow anyway, walking just as fast.
Got through the little bit of old town, onto the harbor esplanade. Looked around at some shops: RIP CURL  to see if they had any Taylor Steele or surf movie DVD’s as I still need to get a copy of his latest “Sipping Jet Streams” movie that starts with the Icelandic surfing foray! But they were just selling snowboarding clothes and things. I looked in the Dolce Gabbana shop, just to say I (try) to shop there ~ maybe I can get a deal and just buy a price tag off an item of clothing, LOL !!
I went to a raised up cafe with the view on the harbor, dark, no electricity wasted to illuminate the harbor, I saw one small fishing style launch pop in during my dinner. The cafe allmost empty, but this must be hopping in the summer time. Checked my internet mail adresses : nothing there really. I asked for  a chicken salad with pine nuts and prunes, mayonnaise, and a mushroom soup. The salad was excelllent, the soup very generous, a high calorie affair! Had a beer. Went to use their bathroom, I shaved in there as I hadn’t shaved since the morning.
SO I just walked through the town, found this very nice cafe that I thought would be expensive: it is actually pretty reasonable. I found a hotel that’s very proper, in good style with reasonable prices the name is  =<БРИСТОЩЛЬ > their best number to call is +380654271606 (about 100$ for a basic room, but after this night it was going into Holiday pricing schedule)
SO anyway, I won’t say much else, I guess that I was the only guy walking the esplanade and eating a nice big pink apple : it may be true that an apple a day keeps a doctor away : I never need their services other than for stitching wounds. But is it true that if you eat three apples a day that you can keep 3 doctors away? That small sense of satisfaction about keeping doctors away past, I started to ask myself what I actually was doing  here. I had brought my flute, and thought that a little riffing in some part of the old city would be interesting.
Found a vaulted drive through in the old city, and put on a little concert where people walking wouldn’t quite see me, as I was hidden in the alley. After about 15 minutes a guy came to close the gate, a big old wrought iron thing, I moved out quickly, he did not harass me: I guess I was on his property. Walking back up through the tourist gift  tents area, kids were blowing off M-80 firecrackers. The few sellers out didn’t like the noise and told them off.
There’s an establishment on the corner that sells beer, open air. Found it interesting that they were filling bottles to order from the keg and capping them off. Thought I’d try it, some confusion about what I wanted in terms of size. They  man getting his beer helped a little. I asked him what his favorite was, about the 6th down on the list, and went for a bottle of that. Took this photo of the resident dog at the corner bar, German shepherd, Mr Malchik  (Russian for boy, not Spanish for Mal CHicka:) He gave me a little respect : my buddy !! Nice dog.
Took a bus up from there: iw as quite early for my ride back, but I didn’t want to be late: I was on the last bus back to Simferopol.
The architecture of this bus depot in Yalta, modern, I guess totally straightforward, designed to handle summer crowds. There is a balcony area, and I settled in there above the main stair from the lower  area of the arrivals buses to the upper departure area: it is a hub for the whole area of coast.. The walls are made of small fist sized cemented together chunks of black rock: local origin I am sure. Makes for good acoustics, breaks up the bounce and echoes you’d otherwise have. So I made a little concert, and got in the mood of it, had some flow. This big guy dressed in ARMY camouflage outfit went down the stairs with a guy. Then after a bit they came back up, they stepped across the railing onto the balcony I was on, and came up to me. The guy walked with that easy confidence of military. They came right up to me, I was a bit apprehensive. I was not sure he was military, his friend a more senior man, perhaps a military guy also, in a black jacket, street clothes. They asked me something and I just didn’t follow it. I said excuse me, I just know a little Russian, they said something else. I mean the guy in the army uniform was a good 7 centimeters taller than me, in boots he looked like 6 feet 5! After a pause the Army guys says “this is for you, or you make (music) for money? “

I relaxed, said, no, just for me!! They went off, I think they liked the music, might have left a little if I had a hat out. I was just super glad that my vague fears of being pushed down into the stair well didn’t come true: funny that my mom made me make out a wiLL before I left,  good to have these things, as if they are in place, you probably won’t need them, LOL!  I could allmost see the news headline: drunk California man falls into stairwell at Yalta Bus Depot! You just have to be yourself, and these people will take care of you or leave you alone: they do want to check you out to be sure you are not a weirdo or just incapable of normal functions!
I went back to my home, the Pink hotel. Lusa, the fiery red head seems to run it, although the nicer black haired lady was at the desk last night. Dropped my bags, went out to a set of Discos. First the “Dance Palace” a manager named Andrew did his best to make me comfortable and at home: nice man, but it was a young crowd. I couldn’t even begin to relate to the girls. I connected with the vibe of this table of 4 young guys. They were doing it all right, but they just didn’t have the cash to sport a girl or something. I felt the same, I know there’s ladies in Yalta who’d be interested to meet me, but the sites are too cumbersome for speedy arrangements. AFTER all,the International Marriage Broker Act  has worthwhile stipulations, it is what it is. There’s not much room for improvisation

I went to ALcatraz again, I stayed for 1 beer, I just wasn’t feeling it. Then I went to this GLobus night club, and it was really going off! I decided to stay with GIna and tonics as I’d had one at Dance Palace, and watched the floor a bit before I got down to DISCO. THis is really a serious DIsco, for 50 UAH admittance,allowing for the reasonable drink prices, it is a great deal! ANd it was a great crowd, just loaded with beautiful interesting women, the men were being together guys, I was having a great time: there was a brunette I really liked: she snuck a few glances at me as well. But I got the feeling this wasn’t my night to get lucky and left about 3 AM.

I like this photo of the older building outside the SImferopol bazaar, not so much the graffiti, but the weathered wooden peak and the bare trees, wires, winter light

Awkward moments will abound, and it’s hard to find a warm smile in the dark of winter. Yet people are grudging in their respect if you can keep an even keel, you just have to be super diplomatic as much as possible. Case in point, a cab driver had a deal to go from airport to Bogzdal Kiev, it was agreed as 200 Grivnyas, yet my Ukrainain friend paid the guy in the car and I made the error of handing the driver the same amount as he got the bag out of the trunk: I simply wanted to have the cash ready and not be fumbling in my wallet at the train station. He gave the money back, yet it was awkward! He pulled it out of his pocket, and it was no longer in hand: if it had gone in his wallet, he’d probably say it was a 20 or 40 tip: And so with the right friend in the right place, these are the little miracles of grudging respect you can get in this place even as a not quite Doufus American right off the flight, LOL!

Played around with the idea of a domestic plane flight to Dnipropetrovsk, it leaves at 9 am and the fee is like 235$ US, or you can get the later day flight for 180$. Yet the train is an express for like 30$ and it will only get me into Dnipro about 3.5 hours after the plane, plus I can cat nap on the train, and I can hang at the Bogzdal for the night using the internet cafe and save the hotel first night anyway as it is my day. You know I don’t know if any of these women appreciate that some of us foreign devils have to survive by stretching our dollars a bit. wow, time up at the internet cafe!

Genesis, by Jorma kaukonen~

Time has come for us to pause And think of living as it was Into the future we must cross, must cross I’d like to go with you And I’d like to go with you
You say I’m harder than a wall A marble shaft about to fall I love you dearer than them all, them all So let me stay with you So let me stay with you
And as we walked into the day Skies of blue had turned to grey I might have not been clear to say, to say I never looked away I never looked away
And though I’m feeling you inside My life is rolling with the tide I’d like to see it be an open ride Along with you Going along with you
The time we borrowed from ourselves Can’t stay within a vaulted well And living turns into a lender’s will So let me come with you And let me come with you
And when we came out into view And there I found myself with you When breathing felt like something new, new Along with you Going along with you

as to women, girls, dating,ummmm please,don’t judge my life. my thoughts, I don’t need that just now-This is a gal I went out with last summer, nice one, she’s a model and a student: we had a late brunch and she had a party to go to with friends in the evening: I was not invited, but went out and had a good time on my own at the Disco 7 Sky. She said that she is a fan of the TV show “californication” and of course all her ideas of what it’s like to live in Cali are based on what she knows from the show, LOL!

lots of downs, very few ups, it is life, we are destined to wonder, wander, deal with fate, suffer a little:) it is all good !

I have a video that I tried to use to describe 5 weeks in Ukraine in under 7 minutes! Has some early 60′s Claudette Soares in the back half as Audio support ! I made an attempt  to contrast the depth and soul of Ukrainians with that latent upbeat quality that makes them so much fun! I used a song titled “the High ROad” that I thought was perfect for what I wanted to say. Babou the caged Bear from the horse ranch and farm outside SUMY is featured: he’s a good boy, but I hope he stays warm this winter: his little house in the pen does not look so cozy:( My big bear friend)

I have made plans for my return and set a plan in motion to bring an internet security specialist to minimize my electronic signature, LOL! Seems like politics has gotten to be a tough row to hoe over there, except USA has little to stand on either~ ALl the top tier of President candidates has some scourge on their image : Obama hasn’t hit a home run with the economy, it’s just kind of stumbling along, bright as it may be in some areas. The Republicans, well they have Perry who suffered a brain fart (I wanted to start a faux     FB page titled “Stoners for Perry”! Cain has accusations about problems with touching! And Newt, well it does not look good when you serve divorce papers on your wife when she is sick in the hospital with cancer. Of course Romney seems like a heads up guy, I won’t judge him for being Mormon, it is just circumstance suited to his success. Yet the Mormons in Salt Lake, they threw stones at my Mom’s Slavic Aunts coz they wouldn’t join their church. But that was a long time ago, forgive and forget. I know I’m probably going to make better money with a Republican President- it’ll benefit the folks I often work for, they’ll make a lot more money, I make a little more:) I think I’m gonna vote for the Brother again, I was in Ukraine 3 years ago and couldn’t vote: I voted for him in the primary election, and he was gonna win California anyway.

Does anyone really care that much about these power struggles? Isn’t pop culture and celebrity gossip so much more interesting? I like Nova and the nature channel more and more!

I just have to say that as an aspect of witnessing first hand, reading about it, Ukraine’s Politics are so much more interesting than the US. A greater diversity of parties, factions. I just wish them luck, and offer those great words of wisdom issued by Rodney King (the victim of the Los Angeles Police beating) “Can’t we all just get along?”

*****

opposition lawmakers shout “Shame,” next to a giant poster featuring former Ukrainian Prime Minister Yulia Tymoshenko with the slogan ‘No political repression,’ while pro-president parliament members applaud as President Viktor Yanukovych addresses the parliament, September 6, 2011, Kiev Few countries have a better case for sovereign government and the rule of law than Ukraine. Even today you can take a short ride from the capital Kiev, as I did a couple of weeks ago, and speak to villagers who still remember the catastrophe of 1933, when Ukraine was a republic of the Soviet Union, and more than three million of its inhabitants starved when Stalin decided to blame the Ukrainian people for the failures of his own policy of collective agriculture. Intermingled with these recollections are memories of the German invasion only eight years later, which brought a second starvation campaign alongside the better known crimes of the Holocaust. In a world where food was a scarce resource, both Stalin and Hitler were obsessed with the Ukrainian “breadbasket,” and millions of Ukrainians died as a result. About eight decades after the famine of 1933, and two decades after the end of the USSR, the strategic resource that binds Ukraine to both Moscow and Berlin is not food but natural gas. Ukraine’s major source of geopolitical significance is the Soviet-era pipelines that transport natural gas from Siberia to Europe. The terms of the gas trade are a major issue in Russian-Ukrainian relations, and the possibilities for profit a magnet for Ukraine’s post-Soviet oligarchs. Julia Tymoshenko, the best-known Ukrainian politician, made her fortune in the gas trade before making her name by cleaning out some of its corruption. As prime minister after the democratic Orange Revolution, she signed a deal with the Kremlin in early 2009 that governs the price and flow of gas from Russia. Now, in a case overseen by her arch-rival, current president Viktor Yanukovych, Tymoshenko has been convicted of “abuse of power” for making this deal—a judgment that has landed her seven years in prison. Before Tymoshenko’s 2009 gas deal, Russia had cut off all gas supplies to Ukraine, and thus to countries west of Ukraine as well. Tymoshenko and Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin came to an agreement that seemed to resolve a tangle of competing claims about theft of gas and non-payment of debts. At that time, Yanukovych was in the political wilderness, having lost the presidential elections in 2005 after Tymoshenko and others protested electoral fraud committed on his behalf. One of his closest advisors, the energy trader Dmytro Firtash, was widely seen as Tymoshenko’s greatest personal rival. Perhaps not coincidentally, the agreement Tymoshenko signed with Putin ended Firtash’s company’s monopoly on the transit of gas through Ukraine. Now, with Tymoshenko in prison and Yanukovych in power, Firtash seems to be in a much stronger position. The imprisonment of Tymoshenko has attracted the world’s attention, but it is only the latest outrage of the Yanukovych regime. The basic problem in Ukraine, and the one Yanukovych promised to solve in his 2010 electoral campaign, is corruption. Thus far he has delivered the opposite. He has worked to undermine the separation of powers, which has functioned reasonably well since Ukraine gained its independence in 1991. He has delayed elections when it seemed that candidates from his Party of Regions might lose. He uses the tax bureau and the tax police to harry opponents. A former minister of the interior has been held in jail for ten months without being charged. And the president has consolidated control of Ukrainian industry and pipelines in the hands of the rich men from the Donetsk region who support him. Earlier this fall, Ukraine was about to sign an Association Agreement that would have opened EU markets to Ukrainian exports, a symbolic step in the direction of EU membership. Now European integration is looking much less likely. After Tymoshenko was convicted, Yanukovych was disinvited from a planned visit to Brussels (he went to Havana instead, to promote economic relations with Cuba). Most leading EU politicians are probably happy to have a reason not to have to trouble with Ukraine, given their own current problems. But even the few top-tier European leaders who support Ukraine’s integration into the EU—such as Carl Bildt of Sweden and Radek Sikorski of Poland— have now been offended. And in late October, Poland, Hungary, and the Czech Republic, the eastern member states with a strategic interest in admitting Ukraine, issued a statement to the effect that they cannot envision an Association Agreement in the current situation. Nor has the Tymoshenko case helped relations with Russia. The most superficial western analyses associate Ukrainian authoritarianism with the pro-Russian sympathies of Ukrainian leaders, but the picture is much more complex. It is true that during the Orange Revolution Russia supported Yanukovych and opposed Tymoshenko. But it is far from clear that Putin now has the same preferences. After all, the trade arrangement just deemed criminal in a Ukrainian court is one Putin negotiated himself. Does the Yanukovych regime believe that it can now renegotiate that deal? If so it is hard to know what they think they have to bargain with. Early in his term Yanukovych conceded pretty much everything Moscow has said that it wanted from Ukraine, above all naval basing rights at Sevastopol for the next quarter century. What Russia will want next is something that Yanukovych cannot concede: control over Ukrainian industry and natural gas pipelines—the very assets that have made Yanukovych’s own crucial supporters the very rich men that they are. This is why the diplomatic pose Yanukovych adopts is so transparent to the parties directly concerned. He threatens the Russians that Ukraine will join the European Union, but makes that impossible by imprisoning Tymoshenko. He threatens the Europeans with a rapprochement with Russia, although by now everyone in Brussels with any interest in Ukrainian affairs knows that his backers cannot really allow this. Ukraine’s foreign policy is thus a double bluff, and the true danger is that its architect does not grasp the implications of this, and will find himself very soon with no options. Meanwhile, the vast majority of Ukrainians—including most of Yanukovych’s own key backers— wish for their country to join the European Union. Ukraine has long been a borderland between greater powers. What is different about the present moment is that it is now an independent state, and that it has become a borderland between two authentically different approaches to foreign relations. The European Union has no interest in admitting Ukraine as it is today, but might be interested in admitting the orderly, lawful eastern neighbor it might one day become. Russia has no interest in the rule of law in Ukraine, but is happy to exert influence upon its territory as part of its efforts to control the distribution of natural resources and reassert its power in the post-Soviet space. It is possible that Yanukovych really does not understand that the European Union cares about law rather than about territory; he may therefore find himself, simply as a matter of weakness, falling under the sway of a Russia that, unlike the EU, does reason in traditional geopolitical categories. This would be the perfectly natural outcome of Yanukovych’s understanding all politics in personal terms—as matters of rivalry over wealth, and then revenge. But statehood must be, at some point, a willing acceptance of principles. Contrary to what Yanukovych seems to think, freeing Tymoshenko would matter not because the West likes her and doesn’t like him. It would matter because it would show that Ukraine could become a state governed by law, which is what Ukrainians themselves need more than anything else.